What can i say October 3, 2006

The joker is who i am. but there are times when i need to talk to ppl about things that are bothering me. i have many friends, but not ones i can pour my heart out to. the only ppl who dont judge me for who/what i am are online. 2 know of me personaly 1 has never seen me at all. the others are family and a friend. family anf friend dont know of this page. any way.. i tried to contact all 3 .. not one answer…. ill leave it at that.. im not going to even ask for no more help of no one…. Ertan Deal With Your Own Problems……………………………………..

grammer and spelling are wrong .. dont give 2 rats arses… adios…

One step forward Two steps back September 28, 2006

The sun is shining, the sky is the brightest blue and not a single cloud in the sky. You can smell it in the air… close your eyes… take a deep breath… relax.. This is as good as it gets…

I guess everyone knows of one person, the pessimist, the one person who can ruin anything with a single comment, who never appreciates anything. Well they done it again. Ruined the outcome of what i thought was going to be a great future to come.

Flash back……… A few years ago i was depressed.. depressed beyond belief. I over came that but it seems to be rearing its ugly head back again. But i don’t need to fall into that trap again.. i don’t.. but why do i feel as though it is coming back to reap the happiness from my soul.. I’m strong.. well i thought i was.. but in reality I’m weak. i can hand out advise to people who ask for it.. tell them its this and that and they thank me and i feel great about myself.. but i can not do the same for myself…. oh how i am a pitifully human being.. thank you.. You know who you are.. You never want me to be happy.. You blood sucking whore.. ill leave it at that…

i am afraid

there is no where to turn…

i am surrounded

by your ignorance…

SURROUNDED BY SO MANY…

i still cant get away from

my own loneliness…..

my sorrow

i reach out

YELL and SCREAM

YET……………………………

from the hundreds that are listening there is no response.

While stuck in Traffic September 26, 2006

Sometimes people do go mad in traffic. All you have to do is look around you. For instance today in the usual traffic jam on the famous Melbourne Car park (Monash Freeway) I began to observe people, the usual nose pickers and the “I’m so late for work ill brush my teeth, have a shave, eat a bowl a cereal” people are normal but you get a few freaks. People who talk to themselves (not on mobiles with hands frees) out loud arguing with the state of the traffic you can see the anger the hatred they have of the cars in front of them, that they have to explode and start yelling. Then there are the in car Ravers, who dance in there seats oblivious to the entire world until they notice you looking at them and smiling which makes them stop. Wait… Who am i to judge them as being crazy. I do that all the time and i would assume I’m sane. The real crazies are the ones who don’t move and just stare straight ahead. Who knows what those nut bags are thinking.. trying to figure out how to the rule the world or who they would like to assassinate. Let it be known i have warned you in advanced.. THOSE BLOODY NEO FASICTS.